First of all, I need to take a moment to say a very sappy, heartfelt thank you. Thank you for reading, thank you for commenting, thank you for your encouragement and your inspiration. I appreciate you more than I could ever tell you. This site has been a huge dream of mine and in the last year or so, I have had to privilege to make it happen (with the help of some incredibly talented professionals – thank you, Erin :)!).
So that you have some context… this “post” was written more than a year ago when I officially decided that I was going to start this site. I was in the midst of teaching music and chorus at a junior high school full time, starting my private lesson business, Lessons By Brooke & Company, LLC., and preparing to go back to school for nutritional therapy (through the NTA – I will graduate as an NTC in June!). I was proctoring our second round of PARCC testing and spewing these thoughts onto a yellow legal pad as I walked around a classroom of students that I loved, watching them waste their precious learning hours on yet another standardized test. I decided that no matter what, I needed this to be my very first post because it perfectly describes where I was (and still am) coming from and the origin of this site. Check out more on my story in the “about me” section. I imagine that I will continue to write on some of these topics, as they are passions of my “forever an educator” brain and soul. Enjoy!
Today I finally decided to let go. Let go of controlling things that are not mine to control. Let go of the job that I am leaving as of June 1st. Let go of the idea of perfection in all areas of my life. Let go of the worry that my new business will fail. Let go of the gear that I won’t have enough money or be enough to have the success that I know I am capable of. Letting go of the thought that I will be judged for sharing this information publicly. Today, I let go. I feel 1000x lighter. I can breath. There IS a light at the end of the tunnel and it is bright enough to shed some light on what is here and now, what is right in front of my face. Until that June 1st day comes when I am no longer working 16-hour days- pulling double duty teaching full time while building my business, I will feel this light. I will allow it to shine on me- literally and figuratively- as the hint of spring sunshine comes our way. I will change my attitude and remember how lucky- scratch that- how my hard work, not luck, has already paid off. When I leave my house at 5:30am and don’t return until 9:00pm, I will do so with a smile; knowing that I made it. I made it through the first truly dark time in my life. I have never before, nor will I ever allow myself to be consumed by darkness. Working a job that nearly buried my usual perky, happy soul under paperwork, pressure, and negative behaviors (personally and professionally) has taught me that I can survive anything. Moving forward, I know there will be challenges, but these will all be manageable. Whether in business, health, or relationships, I trust myself more than ever before. I CAN work my way through ANY situation no matter how hopeless it feels. I have learned that it is okay to change our course regardless of how long you’ve been on this path or how determined you felt when following this original plan. My true calling in life has been unveiled in this last year, and while teaching is and always will be a part of me, the constraints and bureaucracy of teaching in a public school will certainly not. I was put here to help others learn. Health, wellness, balance, fitness, music, self worth, determination, whatever it may be. I am a teacher through and through. Part of me believes that this is why I cannot stand teaching in a public school, isn’t that ironic? In school, we are not teaching, we are managing and being managed. We are imparting minimal real life skills on our future generations while fostering the “to the test” mentality. We are NOT giving our youth the tools or courage to lead healthy and extraordinary lives as members of society. I truly could continue on about this for days. And you may wonder why I chose to publish this as my first post. The honest truth is that I am not entirely sure either. This morning on my drive to work, I was completed immersed in this thought of letting go and felt compelled to share. More on all of this soon!